Chapter 016: Not Only Am I Well-Endowed, I Also Have Brains

“Huh?” At Li Huan’s words, Zhu Zhu hurriedly clapped her hands over her backside and glared at him. “Then did you see my piggy head?”

Li Huan shot her a look, reached out to rap her on the head, and said, “I did. It’s right here!”

“Hmph, I don’t believe you. I clearly saw you just now. Be careful you don’t get a sty!” Zhu Zhu pressed on, unwilling to let it go, but there was no hint of real anger—if anything, she seemed quite pleased with herself.

“What are you doing here? Got yourself into trouble again?” Li Huan eyed her askance. Whenever he saw her, something was bound to happen.

“Stinky Li Huan, when have I ever gotten into trouble? It’s always them picking on me, not the other way around!” Zhu Zhu’s face was indignant. It was all her fault for being so cute, and her chest so big. If she had any troubles in life, perhaps it was only these.

“Well, that’s true. You only call me ‘big brother Li Huan’ when you need my help!” Li Huan was unfazed. Although Zhu Zhu’s knack for stirring up trouble was even greater than her bust, he’d always help her regardless. After all, they’d trained at the same school, and even though the old martial troupe had disbanded, the bond their fathers shared was hard to break.

“You haven’t eaten yet, right? There are two takeout meals here, you two eat first.” Li Huan nodded toward the meal boxes, then got up, planning to buy another portion for himself.

“Oh! I almost forgot, my breast-enhancing soup…” Zhu Zhu suddenly cried out and bolted for the kitchen. A moment later came another yelp, and after a while she reemerged, holding a pot of soup.

She set it on the table. At once, a cloud of steam wafted the pungent scent of burning through the room. Pointing at Li Huan, her eyes dreamy and lips gently bitten, she purred, “Big brother Li Huan, look, I simmered this soup for you for so long—won’t you taste just a little?”

“I don’t need to enhance my chest. I’m not drinking that.” Li Huan refused flatly. Whether it could plump a bust was one thing, but it was sure to kill someone!

“Stinky Li Huan! Do you want to die? I slaved for two hours over this soup and you won’t even try it…” Zhu Zhu’s tone grew fierce as if she would bite his head off, but Li Huan was unmoved. At last, she turned to Su Dieyi with a pitiful plea, “Little Su Su, come on, have a sip. With your chest so small, how will you ever seduce Li Huan? You need to be as big as me, you know!”

With that, Zhu Zhu shamelessly gave her own chest a squeeze, making her bust jiggle spectacularly beneath her black tank top. Alas, Su Dieyi ignored her entirely, slowly picking up a chicken drumstick and fixing Zhu Zhu with a glare.

Finally, Zhu Zhu abandoned her attempts to sell her beauty-enhancing, bust-boosting soup, and pounced on Li Huan’s meal box, wolfing down the food. She left him nothing but a drumstick and half a box of plain rice—not even a single vegetable leaf remained.

After dinner, the three of them chatted idly for a bit. Li Huan learned that Zhu Zhu had come to see Su Dieyi. The two were university classmates, close enough to share the same quilt at night—though Su Dieyi had only yielded to Zhu Zhu’s insistence.

Su Dieyi, however, was not in high spirits, and after a few words, returned to her room. Her attitude toward Li Huan had improved only slightly since that morning. It was Zhu Zhu who was in her element, insisting on dragging Li Huan to his room to talk about life, dreams, the future—and women!

Li Huan was seriously exasperated at the idea of discussing women with Zhu Zhu. A woman talking to a man about other women—was there ever anything so strange? He even began to wonder if Zhu Zhu’s romantic inclinations had changed sides.

Once in his room, Li Huan relaxed, paying little attention as Zhu Zhu rummaged through his things. He poured himself a glass of water, took out his laptop, and began connecting to the internet to download various programs.

Suddenly, Zhu Zhu shrieked behind him, “Ugh, you don’t even wash your socks? They’re disgusting!”

Li Huan glanced back and saw her, holding a tissue, having just fished a crumpled, foul-smelling sock from under his pillow and tossed it to the floor.

“Zhu Zhu, since I’m always so nice to you, how about washing my socks for me? Next time you need my help, I won’t even bat an eyelash!” Li Huan grinned shamelessly, the perfect image of a creepy old man luring a little girl.

“Really?” Zhu Zhu cocked her head thoughtfully, finding his proposal quite reasonable. But her next words instantly killed any desire Li Huan might have had to let her wash his socks.

“Then how about you wash my panties during my period every month?” Zhu Zhu nibbled her finger, her big, sparkling eyes all innocence, but the thought made Li Huan’s scalp tingle. Truly a woman raised by martial artists—what a handful!

Li Huan returned to installing his programs. He had nothing to worry about—the nurse outfit and those panties were safely stashed at the bottom of his luggage, impossible to find.

Meanwhile, Zhu Zhu continued her rampage, shrieking now and then as she berated Li Huan’s lack of self-respect and hygiene.

“Whose underwear is… oh, that’s revolting! The sheets are filthy too… Wait, stinky Li Huan, you’re this old and still wet the bed?” Zhu Zhu exclaimed as if she’d uncovered a new continent.

Li Huan glanced back, just in time to see Zhu Zhu’s little rear end pointed his way, her short skirt exposing that angry little bird beneath. The sight left him speechless, but he had to admit, Zhu Zhu was certainly well endowed. Her round hips, made softer by a touch of baby fat, looked as plump and inviting as a mound of cotton.

His gaze traveled down her legs—long, slender, pressed tightly together with not even a sliver of space between. The sight made the fire within him, which had only just subsided, flare right back up. More outrageous still, Zhu Zhu seemed oblivious to the suggestiveness of her pose, even wriggling her hips and crossing her legs, rubbing them together.

Li Huan felt a familiar ache below, and his jeans began to tent conspicuously.

Women—nothing but temptresses!

He pressed down hard on his “little Huan Huan” and finally managed to stand, not daring another glance at Zhu Zhu’s hips and legs. Hunched over, he made his way to the bed, following her pointing finger. When he saw what she meant, he felt a wave of embarrassment. Even with his thick skin, his face reddened deeply.

Of course, Li Huan didn’t wet the bed, but he was still a normal man—a normal man without a girlfriend who liked to sleep in the nude. Now and then, a man’s natural overflow was inevitable—a normal physiological reaction every man experienced. The ancients did not lie!

It’s hard being a woman, but it’s no easier being a man. Women get a monthly warning for their period—those same few days every month. But when a man’s “Uncle” visits, who’s going to care?

There’s even a song lyric that captures this pain: “Uncle doesn’t come when you want, or leave when you wish. It’s exasperating, makes me understand, and leaves my sheets all wet!”

“It’s my relative, by blood!” Li Huan quipped, yanking the sheet off the bed along with some dirty clothes and tossing the lot into the washing machine.

When he returned, Zhu Zhu was sitting on his bed reading a magazine. The cover featured a foreign model in a seductive pose, wearing nothing but a sheer veil, her chest topped by two rosy buds—highly enticing.

Zhu Zhu flipped through the pages, muttering to herself and occasionally feeling her own chest as if measuring her bust.

Li Huan hurried over and snatched the magazine away. He’d worked hard to collect that foreign edition of Playboy, and there were things in it decidedly unfit for children.

“Are you cleaning the place out? You’re rifling through everything! This is my room, you know!” Li Huan stuffed the magazine back under the bed and gave Zhu Zhu a gentle knock on the forehead.

She failed to dodge, scrunched her brow in pain, and after a while, grumbled, “I knew it! You’re up to no good, reading dirty magazines. Stinky Li Huan is such a pervert!”

“You were looking too! And what were you just measuring?” Li Huan glanced at her chest—the black tank top looking suspiciously braless, her full bust stretching the fabric taut. He could even make out two little points. Between her pale, bountiful cleavage was a deep valley; from where he stood, it seemed endless—you could tuck a phone in there with no problem.

“Mind your own business! What are you staring at—aren’t you afraid your eyes will fall in?” Suddenly shy at his gaze, Zhu Zhu hastily covered her chest.

“Estimating—G cup!” Li Huan teased, turning back to his desk and his unfinished work.

“You’ve got a new laptop but the same old desk—it’s practically burnt to a crisp!” Zhu Zhu leaned in to look, voicing her strong disapproval of the desk.

“None of your business!” Li Huan ignored the girl. She was a troublemaker whether provoked or not, and if you ever did provoke her, she was sure to cook up some scheme to catch you out.

“Sigh! Stinky Li Huan, do you have a girlfriend yet?” Zhu Zhu suddenly asked out of the blue, poking her head close.

Li Huan turned around—only to be confronted with a heaving sea of white, her bust hanging naturally and threatening to burst from her tank top. He quickly dragged his eyes away. Seeing her so earnest, he grew a bit annoyed. Why was this girl suddenly concerned with his love life?

“What’s your angle? I don’t take in big-chested airheads with stunted development!”

“Hmph! I’m not just big-chested, I’ve got brains too!” Zhu Zhu’s eyes flashed with mischief. She leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, “Big brother Li Huan, how about I help you win over little Su Su? Her chest isn’t as big as mine, but she’s got a really perky butt. It’s amazing to the touch—want to try?”