Chapter 146: To Be Your Husband, If Only for Once

Looking up at him, she wore a flustered look in her eyes. "I only hope that Chang Geng finds happiness."

Chang Geng was slightly stunned. The coldness in his eyes slowly dissipated, and he asked in a gentle tone, "General, is that truly what you think?"

"Yes," Kaiming replied, gazing at him steadfastly. "I may have hesitated a little on the way here, but now I have made up my mind. What could be more blissful than being with one's family? I sincerely hope that you, Commander, will truly be happy."

"Is that so?" A wisp of a smile pulled at the corners of Chang Geng's lips. "Kaiming, are you reluctant to see me go to the battlefield?"

Kaiming let out an "ah?" Feeling that she had explained herself quite clearly, why on earth would Chang Geng interpret it with such ambiguity?

She rushed to explain, "That's not what I meant. I simply feel that you, Commander, would be better off staying in the Central Palace and living with a woman you fancy..."

"A woman I fancy?" Chang Geng chuckled, pressing his palms against the desk and leaning down toward her. "Isn't the woman I fancy right here?"

Instantly, she felt that the more she tried to clear her name, the muddier the waters became. Cold sweat streamed down her temples. "Chang Geng, you've misunderstood..."

"You are the one who misunderstood," Chang Geng quickly interrupted, cutting in ahead of her. "That woman on the blind date was only chosen by my mother, and taking her shopping for clothes was also my mother's idea. I have no special relationship with her whatsoever. If you are willing, I would actually love to have my mother meet you."

She was startled. What was Chang Geng saying? Taking her to meet his mother? Wasn't this just like modern-day boyfriends and girlfriends meeting each other's parents? It was utterly dizzying.

Her mind was still spinning when a deep voice answered from behind her, "There is no need, Commander Chang Geng."

The two of them jumped in surprise, not expecting that while they were whispering in private, a third person would appear. Turning their heads together, they saw none other than Xuan, the imperial guard, standing a few yards away with an icy expression.

Upon seeing Xuan, the look on Chang Geng's face turned even more astonished. "Aren't you... aren't you the one..."

Xuan smiled faintly, thawing the ice on his face. "Kaiming's husband. Now serving as an imperial guard."

Chang Geng looked at Kaiming in shock. "What is the meaning of this? Didn't your husband leave? Why is he here now, and how did he become an imperial guard?"

Kaiming offered a wry smile. "It's a long story. In any case, he has returned, and now he is my imperial guard."

"So that's how it is." Chang Geng shifted his gaze to Xuan, studying him for a few long moments before smiling. "I understand now. No wonder you wouldn't let me go to the Southern Palace—it turns out you already have such an exceptional imperial guard by your side."

Helplessly, Kaiming said, "I told you that wasn't the reason."

Chang Geng waved a hand and said with carefree detachment, "No matter what, since the General has decided not to let her subordinate follow, this subordinate will obey orders absolutely." He walked slowly toward Xuan, fixing bright, glittering eyes on him with a provocative glare. "Can you truly guarantee that you will let your wife follow you in peace, free from the threat of death, and live out a safe and happy life?"

Xuan met his gaze and smiled. "What does the Commander mean by asking this?"

With utmost solemnity, Chang Geng said, "I know your identity, Xinxuan. You are dangerous, and those by your side will be in danger too. Can you tell me if you can accomplish the things I just mentioned? If you cannot, wouldn't it be better to let go sooner rather than later?"

Xuan lowered his eyelashes in a faint smile, turning his eyes back to him as though looking at a willful child. "Xuan will certainly never let the Commander take Xuan's wife to meet the Commander's mother, so the Commander need not speak such joking words."

Chang Geng's eyes seemed to catch fire as he glared at him angrily. "What did you say? You think I'm joking?!"

Xuan withdrew his faint smile and said to him solemnly, "I have made a promise to my wife: if she lives, I live; if she dies, I shall most certainly not linger on in this world!"

Hearing those words, Chang Geng's breath hitched abruptly. A complex myriad of emotions flickered in his gaze as he stared at him suspiciously.

Xuan's voice was not loud, yet it was clear enough for Kaiming to hear every single word. The hand she had rested on the stone table slowly curled into a fist, trembling slightly.

Chang Geng glanced at her, his face blooming into a full smile as he reached out to pat Xuan's shoulder, laughing heartily. "Good man!" He leaned in closer and chuckled softly, "Are you really that gloomy-faced fellow I saw before? You hardly look like the same person!"

Laughing out loud, he strode away into the distance.

Xuan watched his receding figure with a faint smile, shaking his head as he sighed, "This kid." Then, turning back to Kaiming and noticing her unusual state, he asked, "What is it?"

"It's nothing." Restraining the turmoil in her heart, she relaxed her fists.

Xuan smiled knowingly, sitting down beside her and gently placing his hand over the back of her lightly clenched hand. She started once more, turning her face to look at him.

Xuan tightened his grip on her hand, his warm palm wrapping around hers like a tide, surging up her arm and spreading through her entire body.

He looked at her quietly and said softly, "What I said just now was meant earnestly."

I meant it earnestly. Kaiming felt a wave of dizziness wash over her; Xuan's features blurred slightly as a thin layer of tears welled up in her eyes.

If she lives, I live; if she dies, I shall most certainly not linger on in this world.

The oil lamp burned brightly. Amidst the soft rustle of turning pages, Xuan was carefully examining the characters she had been practicing.

Resting her chin in one hand, Kaiming seized the opportunity to steal a glance at him.

In the lamplight, his long, dense eyelashes fluttered—lowering, then rising—occasionally revealing light-colored pupils that were so transparent and serene it seemed as though no impurity could ever leave a mark upon them. His well-defined bridge of nose and soft lips cast dimensional shadows across his face, rendering his entire countenance like a flawlessly carved masterpiece that left her full of admiration.

The softly contoured lips suddenly parted slightly, and a calm voice drifted out: "Have you seen enough?"

She let out an "ah," staring at him as though waking from a profound dream.

His long eyelashes flicked upward, and his hidden pupils shifted to fix upon her. "You're going to drool all over yourself."

Kaiming hurriedly raised her hand, scrubbing vigorously at her mouth with her sleeve while a deep blush of embarrassment crept over her face. No way—was it really that obvious?

Xuan stopped reading the papers and looked at her with a half-smile. "What is wrong with the General tonight? You seem quite absent-minded."

Tugging at the corners of her mouth, she covered up by saying, "I'm tired. Truly tired."

With a peculiar chuckle, Xuan remarked, "Does being tired make one drool? That is certainly a novelty."

Burning with mortification, Kaiming gave a dry cough, stood up, and said, "I am truly exhausted today, so I will be retiring early. Imperial guard, you may leave!"

She heard the crisp sound of paper being folded as Xuan tidied things up. He did not answer her, neither saying yes nor no. Kaiming turned her back to him, her heart in a whirl as she inexplicably recalled their conversation earlier that afternoon in the military camp.

If she lives, I live; if she dies, I shall most certainly not linger on in this world.

It felt as though something had struck a chord deep within her; every single time she recalled it, she found herself utterly unable to calm her emotions.

As a woman who had been abandoned in the modern world, could finding her true love here be considered good fortune, or misfortune?

The sound of light, shuffling footsteps indicated that Xuan was about to open the door and leave.

Prompted by some unknown impulse, she suddenly whipped around and blurted out, "Wait..."

A solitary figure stood quietly behind her. Xuan was standing just a few paces away; he had not left, and a look of perplexity rested on his face.

"Does the General have further instructions?"

Kaiming felt a flutter of panic. Turning slightly, she waved a hand at him and said, "Nothing, nothing at all. Well... you should get some rest early too."

Xuan did not move. He watched her in silence for a moment before taking a step forward and walking toward her.

"Can you not be just a little more honest?" Xuan's voice drifted over softly, remaining calm and without inflection as his feet brought him closer and closer. "Why must two people who love each other deliberately conceal their feelings?"

Startled, she raised her eyes to look into his face.

Xuan stepped right up to her, reaching out to cup her cheek. Light danced and rippled in his eyes as he lowered his voice. "Even if I were to be your husband for just a single day, it would be enough."

Just a single day as your husband? Kaiming gazed at him in a daze, watching that heart-stopping face draw closer and closer until her heart began to hammer wildly.

"Is there anything left that can hinder our love now?"

Nothing.

"Do you not like me?"

I like you.

"Then why won't you accept me?"

Accept him...

Warm lips pressed gently against her own. She narrowed her eyes slightly, tilting her head back to receive his breeze-like kiss. Indeed—why not accept Xuan? From the very beginning, he was the husband destined for her, the one she loved.

Her body grew feverish, her temperature rising. The sound of ragged breathing grew heavier within the room as Xuan's kiss transformed into a fierce plundering. He pressed her against the wall, his hands roaming wildly across her back as if trying to melt the very skin of her shoulders.

An unreasoning panic seized Kaiming. It was too fast—were they moving far too quickly? She was entirely unprepared for this mentally.

"Wait, Xuan..." Turning her face away to dodge his frantic kisses, she pushed against his body with all her might.

Xuan did not hear her plea. With bloodshot eyes, he continued raining down kiss after kiss—upon her cheeks, down the curve of her neck, and straight toward her chest. Suddenly, she was reminded of that scene at the post station, and a crushing wave of shame and terror followed hard upon.

"Xuan!" she shrieked sharply, mustering every ounce of strength to shove him away before curling into a defensive ball. "Stop! Stop this at once!"

Startled by her cry and her fierce push, the flames that had been ignited within him were instantly doused by a bucket of cold water. He stood rooted to the spot in a daze, staring blankly at her.

With her head bowed low, Kaiming muttered in terror-stricken contrition, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

Gradually, the turbulence in Xuan's eyes subsided. He spoke in a gentle voice, "What is it?"

"I... I wasn't ready. I'm sorry..." Her voice was no louder than a mosquito's hum, and her head dropped even lower.

Xuan let out a soft sigh, stepped forward, and gently stroked her head. "It is I who thought too simply. The one who should be saying sorry is me." He pressed a light kiss to her hairline. "I am sorry. If you are not willing, I shall never, ever make such a rude gesture toward you again."

She had no words to answer. Letting her go, Xuan turned in silence, walked step by step across the threshold, and gently closed her chamber door.

A crisp click echoed from the wooden panels. Kaiming abruptly raised her head, staring at the doorway with tears she could not shed. Why was it that even with the person she adored so dearly, she still retreated at the final moment?

Am I truly, truly this foolish?